Could it be that “signs” are meant to hedge one’s bets? It doesn’t expose you as much if the other party isn’t interested.

Could be, but that's immature and unattractive. You're better off not throwing in with someone who's unwilling to be vulnerable

Last year I got hit on by a young woman in my neighbourhood. She started by asking me for some rice because she didn't have any left (that might have been an excuse). When I came back 5mn later with a bag, she simply asked me if I wanted to play with her. I told her I was married and went home, but I liked her approach. No room for ambiguity. She must have been 20 something, so it's not a matter of age at least. Maybe maturity.

Should've gotten her pregnant to expand your brood.

Smh.

All the possible signals = literally just standing there. That tracks.

Is this a copypasta?

It can be !

Right but the people who are mature, attractive, and clear and up front about their feelings tend not to stay single for very long.

I contemplated the possibility for what felt like the longest second in my life. But it wouldn't have been right

Yep. That's me. Dense as a brick.

Last year I got hit on by a young woman in my neighbourhood. She started by asking me for some rice because she didn’t have any left (that might have been an excuse). When I came back 5mn later with a bag, she simply asked me if I wanted to play with her. I told her I was married and went home, but I liked her approach. No room for ambiguity. She must have been 20 something, so it’s not a matter of age at least. Maybe maturity.

it do be like that sometimes often

Actually, you know, I could afford to keep that in mind more often. I've suffered with poor self esteem in the past myself, and so I know just about everyone can use reassurance sometimes. It's just a matter of figuring out how to validate someone else's insecurity without creeping them out and also without becoming an enabling crutch that they lean on more than is healthy or appropriate.

Empathy can be toxic if I'm misreading, too... It's possible to honestly believe I'm attempting to reassure someone and end up saying something that only exacerbates their insecurities x_x I don't even know how it turns out like that, probably because I'm just not very good or practiced at socializing. But usually I've tended to err on the side of caution and keep my mouth shut.

I dunno. I'll have to think on it more as to whether or not I want to try proactively engaging on that again now...

Not right? Our biological mission across our lives is to breed. Everything else is secondary.

You must make sure your genes spread across the world.

You failed by not taking the chance.

That's why you need to add "polyamourous" to the list of criteria.

That may be great for some people but not for me!

It took me years of therapy to get to that friend.

But yeah now for sure.

All the possible signals. Really. I'll give you two of my own experience (or inexperience)

• Teenagers in a school trip. She tells me, do you want to come with me, I forgot my key in the room. "Sure" I say. I proceed to walk with her and wait for her to go to her room while I held the elevator.

• Me in a quite alternative bar. She "why don't you stay longer, I can take you home after". Me "I have early class tomorrow".

Both were drop dead gorgeous (the first one was fairly wealthy)

Those are just two examples. My life is full of them. Apparently I'm more attractive than smart.

Of course, there have been some super direct where I clued in but it was impossible not to.

Good on you!

What signals?