I looked at a lint roller and I’m pretty positive I have no clue what licking that would be like

I think you might be onto something.

I have no idea how dick would feel on my tongue, because I've never had one on my tongue.

Lightly used lint roller and wet tongue? Fuzzy and tacky but slippery. Unless you dry out your tongue first, then it'll just stick in a weird and unsatisfying way.

Pretty much every asshole I know can do that

I guess infancy is just about establishing a fundamental texture profile to use in adulthood. A standardised collection of mouthfeels. PANTONGUE️

There's a satisfying way to lick a lint roller and you know this how?

now that was a disturbing mental jump if I ever saw one

Yeah but that's more theory vs practice.

Extra sticky postage stamp.

Pain. Your face may also feel some, as well.

just because it can tell the difference doesn't mean you can necessarily do anything with that information. sometimes that train, she comes quickly.

I was thinking exactly this while reading the meme. Our first experiences with the world are touching things and then putting them in our mouths. We build a cognitive database of touch- and taste-based sensory data from day one. Of course that’s going to inform our thoughts later on!

Oh, my stars! Does that mean.... Oh, goodness 🫢

Most definitely as a baby or toddler, yes you have. And if it was not asphalt it was similar stuff like walls and such.

As soon as one has enough data and a brain developed enough one absolutely can tell the feel and taste of stuff even if not tested.

Bonus points if your a parent. Toddlers WILL force stuff in your mouth and you WILL have the chance to test the theories.

Oh, these kids will make their experiences whatsoever. Even helicopter parents need to do stuff from time to time and kids somehow KNOW if they are not watched, ever for a second.
It might take longer to make all the experience one needs, but they will get them one way or another.

Ok, fair enough.

Only one way to find out. Do it... For science!