A healthy anus can tell the difference between solids, liquids, and gasses.

Sucking on couches & table legs & footballs. Toddlers have a lot going on at school.

"Is your Hot Pocket cold in the middle?"
"It's frozen, but it can be served boiling-lava hot."

Hot Pockets!

I've seen this before, but I have to wonder: has anyone actually tested it? Like sure, you can imagine what licking asphalt would feel like, but have you ever just done it to make sure your imagination is right?

If it weren’t for the skin incinerating temperature, it’d probably feel like softened caramel

Seems likely to me

I looked at a lint roller and I’m pretty positive I have no clue what licking that would be like

I think you might be onto something.

I have no idea how dick would feel on my tongue, because I've never had one on my tongue.

Lightly used lint roller and wet tongue? Fuzzy and tacky but slippery. Unless you dry out your tongue first, then it'll just stick in a weird and unsatisfying way.

Pretty much every asshole I know can do that

I guess infancy is just about establishing a fundamental texture profile to use in adulthood. A standardised collection of mouthfeels. PANTONGUE️

There's a satisfying way to lick a lint roller and you know this how?

now that was a disturbing mental jump if I ever saw one

Yeah but that's more theory vs practice.

Extra sticky postage stamp.

Pain. Your face may also feel some, as well.

just because it can tell the difference doesn't mean you can necessarily do anything with that information. sometimes that train, she comes quickly.

I was thinking exactly this while reading the meme. Our first experiences with the world are touching things and then putting them in our mouths. We build a cognitive database of touch- and taste-based sensory data from day one. Of course that’s going to inform our thoughts later on!